My liver just broke up with me...
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
