Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
