a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Fuck appropriateness.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
