I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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