...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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