She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
