she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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