Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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