In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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