Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Green mimosas i think yes
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
