All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
