So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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