You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
You have to summon your inner elephant
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
