Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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