let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
