whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
