Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
