I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
