i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
