Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
