Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
