Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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