Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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