So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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