I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
