Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
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