This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
