What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
