I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
