Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
