nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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