Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
