Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
