Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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