I like my sex mixed with concussions.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I'm bleeding and have questions
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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