i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
