He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
