I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
home. puking in laundry basket.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
