Who wears a wallet chain?!
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
