Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
