So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
