You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
