I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Randomize
