He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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