Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
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