remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
