**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
my mouth tastes like poor choices
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
