Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Randomize
