I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I think your dad took our porno
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
we're so committed to being not committed
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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