I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I have fence marks all over my body
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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