The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
