How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
