just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
